July is a very special month for me, twenty-eight years ago I gave birth to my first child in July, two weeks after my birthday. This year July is extra special, on my birthday this year two of my best friends started a new chapter of their lives in two different parts of the world. One married the love of her life and moved to his country and the other closed escrow on her first house, all on my birthday! However, I was all alone in Fez when my birthday started due to circumstances that were out of my control. I was never alone on any of my birthdays before, I was never alone most of my entire life, I guess that a blessing, right?! I convinced myself that I will be OK, I can handle being alone even on my birthday, so what?! Things didn’t go the way I planned, c'est la vie!
This is me as a baby Me pregnant with my first child
You see when I moved to Fez, I moved for a job, I started the new job and I was very happy, things were moving smoothly until one day for a reason I still can’t wrap my head around, I was told that I can no longer work at that institute. I was literally dumped in Fez without any warning or any help. My employer didn’t care about me or about the fact that he legally and ethically just can’t do what he did, but hey, this is Morocco….anything can happen!
Already struggling with chronic pain and depression, being unemployed didn’t help at all. I thought because I lived in Marrakech for over six years that I will be ok here in Fez, I was, but that meant that I had to get used to the fact that I am new “Guaria” foreigner in the neighborhood. I had to get used to getting lost in the labyrinth of the old medina and putting up with a new crowd of street harassers. I knew few people in Fez, my husband had to be back in Marrakech for some family issues and I was all alone in a city that was founded in the 9th century in a house that overlooked the oldest university in the world ready to celebrate my forty-six birthday all alone with two lazy cats.
I truly believe that I was put on this earth for a reason, all the struggles I faced in my previous life and still face to this day exist to make me stronger. I am truly grateful for all the challenges that keep on showing up in my life, thank you, you made me who I am today.
Young AWESOME kids that I started teaching in a small school in the new town of Fez, got together and threw the best birthday party a 45+ lonely girl could ever have. My cup is overflowing with gratitude to these amazing students who made my birthday the best birthday ever.
An Amazing dinner with some amazing women in Fez at my house and a surprise visit back from my husband with flowers made my day even more special.
July is not over yet, we still have to witness the longest lunar eclipse of the century and I still have to continue proving to myself that I can do this shit!